Tuesday, January 25, 2011

99 problems and a bish ain't 1

Written by Dick Masterton himself. Very good read, and solid advice every man can use.

For those two guys who wanted to know exactly what to do:

I've done some thinking and some ****ting, and I want to give you my quick guide to life. It will probably become a bigger post on my site, but for all the guys who want some real answers, here they are:

You're ****ed

There is no clear answer for you, but you can always do better than what you've got. Dealing with chicks is one big compromise. In a perfect world, you could put them back in a DVD case when you were done using them and pull another off the shelf--maybe a foreign one with subtitles, but not Amelie because that is a loss of Man Points.

When it comes to women, everything is a relationship. You can't avoid it. Whether you want a stream of cheap hookers in your life, a girlfriend, some imaginary "Friends with Benefits" arrangement that doesn't exist in the real world without an assload of cocaine, a wife, a mistress, or a Weird Science robot love doll, the following rules apply. All of those are relationships, and these rules will improve your life.

*Quit Early, Quit Often

If something is not going the way you want it to go with a woman, change the way you deal with her. Don't expect her to change or reason with her. Women don't have that part of their brain. That's where Twilight goes. If a girl is not responding to your advances, ignore her. If your girlfriend is being a bitch, dump her. That's the quickest way to solve things with women: take away the attention. Women don't know when to stop acting like little bitches until you give their leash a tug. Make it a big one.

*Put Yourself First

Most problems in relationships happen because you as the man is letting **** fly that you shouldn't. Above all else, put your needs--put your cock's needs--first, and put her needs never. Putting women and their bull**** first is like helping your friend move into a new house without knowing where his **** is going. You're just carrying around a washing machine in a ****ty shirt and getting amped up for some pizza that is never coming. Women don't know what they want. You do.

*Make a Plan, Work the Plan

Men's brains are wired to make things into other things, earn money for those new things, and then crash out on the couch with a beer while playing Call of Duty 2. The only part of that sentence that will change is the Call of Duty part. Beer has existed since the beginning of time.

Women's brains are designed to identify men who are good at that main life purpose and worship them like a god. In other words, stop giving a **** about women. Have a goal in your life, make a plan to achieve said goal, and then work the plan in order to achieve that goal. Money and accomplishments make a man happy. Not women. Women are like the B-52 fly-over on opening day of Dodger Stadium. It's awesome when it happens, but it's not why you go there. You go there for the beer and to watch Mexicans fight.



  1. dick is just great lol. following and supporting.

  2. Haha great read man. Keep it up!

  3. That's some weird advice but if it works go for it

  4. if only all the guys knew this, so many people are p***y whipped haha

  5. Solid advice bro.

  6. The fact that lists like this saddens me. The fact that it seems reasonable to me makes me even more sad. o_o